Codependency: What it is, why it happens, and how to break free Artwork

Thrive the Podcast

Are you surviving or thriving? Join me, Rebecca Kase, licensed psychotherapist, author, trauma expert, yoga instructor, and learn how to thrive in your life. I bring you expert knowledge along with my own lived experience of what it means to go from surviving to thriving. We’ll explore what it means to thrive in the face of challenges, how to apply psychology and neuroscience to building a resilient nervous system, and how to use the Thrive 5 to create your best life.

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Codependency: What it is, why it happens, and how to break free

November 11, 2024 • Rebecca Kase

Here is what was covered in this episode:

I got this request from a podcast listener! Let’s learn what codependency is, how it relates to attachment, and why we’re prone to it as relational creatures.
Codependency is a condition where someone relies too much on another person in an unhealthy and self-destructive way.
Human beings are wired to form attachments and relationships for survival. We are wired to attach, even to people that aren’t good for us.
Codependency can feel like relationship addiction, but unlike other addictions, we need relationships to survive.
Even people from healthy childhood backgrounds can fall into codependent relationships because everyone is wired to connect.
Signs of codependency include prioritizing others’ needs over your own, losing a sense of self, feeling guilty for doing things for yourself, and needing your partner to feel happy.
People may stay in harmful relationships because their neurobiology prefers attachment, even to unhealthy partners, over being alone.
Childhood experiences, such as witnessing dysfunctional relationships, can shape our relationship patterns in adulthood.
Codependent relationships are often filled with drama, emotional destruction, and cycles of extreme highs (honeymoon phases) followed by intense lows (drama and danger).
The brain, particularly the amygdala, can drive unhealthy attachment by perceiving the potential loss of a relationship as a survival threat.
Codependent relationships can trigger a constant need for reassurance and fear of abandonment, making it difficult to leave.
It’s important to get therapy or coaching from someone who can be honest about the situation and help you break the cycle.
Codependence Anonymous (CoDA) and 12-step programs can also be helpful in navigating these issues.
Remind yourself that you deserve love, happiness, and safety, even if you don’t fully believe it at first. Start by telling yourself that you do deserve better.

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